A year already!!!

I can't believe that once again another year has been lived and is now gone. I don't think I appreciated it as I should have. It seems that to do so is very, very hard to do. I try to remind myself of all the blessings I have and for a while I truly appreciate the moment. Then all the other things life brings ushers themselves on and around me, and appreciation lacks. I am going to train myself to respond to appreciation, with appreciation. Sounds so simple, but I need full concentration to pull it off. I do realize that the only true way to fail at anything is to stop trying to succeed. I refuse to be a loser as an example to anyone who takes note of my passing by in this life. Perhaps it's age. Hopefully, with (if God grants more time)time, I'll find peace. To all who struggle with depression of any kind, or with life's trials that seem overwhelming for the most part, I understand, I am here to say that, and to hope that we all can find a reason to WANT to keep on, keeping on. Perhaps it will just be as simple as believing that we are here for some reason! If not for ourselves, in some way, for others. Do something wonderful for someone else. It will make your existence feel worth something, at least for the moment. This all sounds like a huge pity party, perhaps in large part it is. Pity for a life screwed over, under, on top....well you get the idea. I think most people have dreams, wishes and hopes. I believe most people want to be loved and to love. I guess what I'm saying is I believe there is a line of demarcation between living and existing. This post will hit home to many who exist, and always have. Outside looking in. God help us. It is not who we want to be..... Don't give up though, even (which, by the way, is sometimes almost impossible not to do) if only as an example to the ones we love and so as to not set a precedence which may be interpreted as o.k. Instead of giving up, write.